Tune in Tuesday :)

Well...this week was easy for me to choose my favorite for "Tune in Tuesday"!! I have been so very proud of Brenna this week....she continues to amaze me with everything she does! This video was from a year ago, but this was a very proud moment for me and also what I believe to be the "beginning" of a singing career for her! She rocks!!!!

She is singing Taylor Swift's, The Best Day in this Youtube Video!!

I Love Being Me...(or at least I am trying!)

There are many reasons I had in mind while choosing the name "Seeking Simplicity" for my blog, but the one I am faced with daily is the reality that so many people know me, my family and our story (I am speaking about Haley of course). I don't think I ever intended for this to happen to this capacity, but at the time I had two goals in mind and that was 1. To do everything possible to spread awareness for Cystic Fibrosis and 2. To keep people posted on Haley's condition, not only to lift the burden off of Rich and I as far as phone calls and such, but to also ask for much needed prayers!! I will start off by saying, I would never change either of those decisions.....but because of the openness of our story, I am truly seeking some type of simplicity in this area now.

I know I have many "eyes" on me, so to speak....not only because of Haley's story, but also because I am now a business owner in Owasso. I can't even begin to tell you all of the e-mails, CB post, FB messages, letters in the mail, phone calls and so forth that I have received over the past 2 years from people who "look up / admire" me for all I have gone through and how I carry myself. The only answer I truly have for that is God!! He has given me strength that I never knew I had, to somewhat "hold it together", over the past 2 years. I gain much of my strength from my family and even more strength from my friends. But truth be told....I am only human just like everyone else. I was given the strength to be strong throughout a very difficult time in my life and for that, I am very grateful!!

But as time passes, I truly want to "step off of this pedestal" so to speak that I was forced to step onto. Go back to the simple way of life. Go into a restaurant without 10 people staring at me from the door to my seat. Run into the grocery store and grab my milk and bread without being stopped in the isle 1/2 way through. This list could go on and on....but before I go too far, I want you all to realize this...

These are the people that have helped me through this TERRIBLE ordeal in my life. I don't want any of this to be taken wrong!! My main objective or goal in this post is to let everyone know that I just want to be "The Simple Girl". Just Me.., Jennifer!!

Many of you probably know...I am a huge Facebook Junkie. I have met some wonderful followers on there and have found lots of things in common with people who knew me....long before I knew them! It has been great getting to know these people, but I guess I am sometimes worried that my "FB Image" won't live up to the "Caring Bridge Image". I had to be someone I never thought I would have to be on the Caring Bridge. A mother, who was in her deepest darkest hours taking care of her daughter who didn't stand a chance of surviving this damn disease we call CF! I hope I found a way to do it with dignity and grace along the way, but reality is....I am still just a person!

Like I said before in my blogging, it is sink or swim for my husband or I. We do a lot of "surface thinking" to try and keep going everyday!! I have found somewhat of a new lifestyle as I am enjoying new things in life with Rich & Brenna and spending a lot more time with friends and just "living" a bit!

I often hesitate about things I do or pics I put on FB because I don't want people to "judge" me in case it's not what they expected from what they "knew before", but then I tell myself....this is me and I am who I am!!!!

For instance my "Weight a Minute" blog post.....HUGE, HUGE out of my box post!!! But again...that is my story and my true friends will still like me for who I am now just as they did then!!

Hopefully the "new" me that is beginning to show through will be accepted by all of my friends and followers. I am trying to find a new way of life, because I do know....it will NEVER be the same as the life I had before Haley left this world......
I have said it many time....I would take that life style back in a heartbeat, but no matter how hard I beg for it back...it will never be reality!

While talking to a dear friend tonight, I believe I realized that it is probably not any of you who are making me feel guilty about "moving forward", but more so...my own guilt inside. I know this is what Haley would have wanted for our family, but no one will ever know how very hard it is to start this new life unless you have walked in these shoes!! After living for 35 years...you simply have to "start all over" one day!! I hate facing this life after loss, but it is what it is and I have have one of 2 choices!! I just pray I am making the right decision!!!

I love this song and it is exactly the way I have been trying to live my life lately! I hope you all continue to follow me on this new journey! Again...It is YOU and God who have carried me this far.....

Good Luck OMers!!!

Well, this is a big weekend for Brenna Marie!! Her Odyssey of the Mind Team has been working hard to prepare for their Regional Competition that will be held tomorrow!! Her team has put in over 20 hours of work in the last week alone to prepare for the big day! Only 50% of the teams in her division will advance, but no matter what the outcome....they are all winners in my book!!!

I can post more pics after tomorrow, but here is one of her working away on one of the props for the set!!

GOOD LUCK BARNES OM TEAM!!!!

"Weight" a Minute....

That is what I keep telling myself every time I think about posting this blog!! I keep getting cold feet...not so much about the info that I am about to share, but more so about the photos. I thought about leaving them out, but well.....then I don't think you all would truly get the gist of what I would like to get across in this blog update!!

I know that many of you who read my blog or follow me on FB didn't know me 5 years ago, so this will probably come as a shock to many of you! After my kids were born and Haley started getting sick, I just completely turned all of my focus on them and didn't take care of myself in any way!! I didn't realize what was happening over the period of time and I truly was happy with my life (so I thought) and I just continued to gain weight!! It wasn't so much that I was an over eater...I just simply did NOT make any type of healthy choices when it came to eating.

A little over 6 years ago, I decided enough was enough and I started attending Weight Watchers!! That had to be one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. I realized that there was NO diet that was ever going to work for me...it was ALL about a life style change!! So, nearly 15 months after I started going...I met my goal weight and became a "Lifetime" member of WW and lost a total of 78 pounds!!!!

Yep!! That is me...78 pounds ago...(can I crawl under the table now??) The picture on the top left, I ALWAYS carry around with me a a quick reminder to "just say NO"!!!

So I have recently celebrated 5 years of keeping off the weight and I have to tell you....IT FEELS PRETTY GOOD!!!!

I have never been much on exercise, so although WW encourages you to work that into their program...I did not. I simply changed my entire way of eating and experimented with new foods that I didn't even know existed...and I was lucky enough to drop the weight.

Now, if you remember back to the post about Zumba....I told you all that it was very important to me to find an exercise program that "worked" for me. I am going on 3 months of Zumba...and my new favorite gym, Fit For Her, and it absolutely kills me now to miss classes if I have something going on. Although I have been able to keep my weight off (with the exception of a few pounds up and down), I have never been able to tone this darn "after baby" body or build muscle.

So as I slowly....cough...approach 40, this has been my new goal!! Not only to keep the weight off, but to finally work on toning up and finding new ways to stay fit and healthy!!

I had a lot of reservation about posting this blog, because I am embarrassed of where I was 6 years ago....but hopefully ONE person who reads this might just be inspired that "You can do it too"!!!

One last thing I would like to add is that, I am very glad Haley got to see her mom meet this challenge before she passed away. I spent every waking moment taking care of her....and she finally got to see me take care of myself for a bit. As for Brenna...I can tell she has her "momma's" genes and she might too struggle with weight a bit, but for anybody who is ever around her, you know she is ALWAYS making good food choices. I keep telling her she will hit that growth spurt and it will all pay off, and I hope that my lifestyle change has helped her as well!!

(The NEW me!!)

I will try and post some of my favorite food changes with you over the next few weeks!!!

Go for your goal!!!!

Jenn~

"Outside My Box"

I have really been looking for "fun" NEW ways to spend some of my time lately, so Rich and I have been trying to step outside our box a bit!! It's so easy to get wrapped up in everyday life and not try new things, which is sometimes monotanis in a marriage! After Haley passed away, Rich and I "went in to a shell" so to speak. We felt guilty doing or trying anything new, so we simply didn't really do much of anything!! As time passes and as hard as it is to accept this, we both know that life does go on and we cannot continue to live our lives without moving forward.

Our focus has always been geared towards Brenna through all of the sadness over the past couple of years, but we are now beginning to again refocus on each other and ourselves!! And I have to say....I have really enjoyed "coming back to life".

Last night, we went to a new place called KilKenny's Irish Pub down on Cherry Street in Tulsa! Wonderful food, beautiful atmosphere and just plain "neat" to be somewhere NEW around this town!! Brenna and her friend Madi were old enough to go with us, and being that it was a week night, the people were pretty "tame" and oh yeh, and the Bread Pudding was AMAZING!! So..... fun time with friends last night and the weekend is just beginning!!

I will continue to "step outside my box" tonight as a group of about 15 of us are going out for my friend, Lara's birthday!! This sounds crazy, but oh-so fun!! We are heading to a 2 hour ZUMBATHON.....and then after we zumba the night away, we are all going downtown to Casa Laredo, Latin Grill and Tequila Bar. Not much of a drinker so this ought to be fun!! 15 girls who loves to zumba and a dance floor at midnight! All I have to say is..........watch out!! LOL!!!

And then wrapping up my weekend, Rich and I are going to a place called Ciao's to enjoy some dinner and a little Jazz music!! I'll be sure to give you a review!!

So, I guess my message in this blog today, is to "step outside YOUR box", try something new with your family or friends and be sure to let me know about your experience!!!

Well...my "Big News" is coming up next week. Oh my...I am getting a little nervous about sharing, but hopefully it will be inspiring to some of you! That is my goal!!

"Tune" in Tuesday....And everything else I wanted to blog about this week!!

Well....looks like I have 2 hours left to bring you "Tune in Tuesday"!! I really want to know the secret of this "blog" thing! Please do tell how some of you awesome bloggers blog everyday?!?!?! That is just amazing to me....as I can barely bring it to you once a week!!! Have you all found simplicity, or am I not managing my time right????

So, tonight I thought I would just "catch up" with all the fun things I have wanted to share all in one night.

We'll start with our "Tune in Tuesday" winner!! You all have NO idea how hard this is for me, because I LOVE music and I have so many I want to share with you! Last weekend me and my friend Cheryl went to the Casting Crowns and Kutless concert in Tulsa. Music does so much for the soul, but Casting Crowns music can just make you feel good inside and bring you closer to God all at the same time! The voices of this group is just unbelievable..... So, I have to pick Casting Crowns this week!!! I have a few pics in this weeks slide show of our evening at the Spirit Bank Center, fun fun!!

Well...we may be getting old, but we are never too old for a little midnight fun!! Last weekend, we also decided to go cosmic bowling with a bunch of friends. Bowling was from 11pm-1am, so around 9:30 that night...I wondered how I would ever make it. Got to the bowling alley and completely forgot what time it was!! Had a BLAST...if you've never been cosmic bowling, you SHOULD go!! Great music, neon bowling balls and lots of fun!! Check out the skeleton ball that the guy next to us had...creepy, but cool!!!

DANCE, DANCE, DANCE...Not only do I love music, but my love for Zumba is making me want to dance a whole lot more lately!! Last week, Brenna's OM team held a Father Daughter dance at her school. It was sooo much fun!!! I was the DJ and it was hard to hold this DJ down. I had to sneak in a few dance moves every now and then. The dads and daughters were so busy dancing...nobody noticed. Check out the photos in the slide show of Rich and Brenna....doing "DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN"!!! Definitely a night that Brenna and a lot of other girls will always remember!!!

And finally....speaking of music (do you see a trend here???) Miss Brenna had her piano / guitar recital this past weekend. She has played the piano for about 4 years and the guitar for about a year 1/2. I am always so proud of her!! She was definitely born with musical talent!!

Ok...well, there you have it...a fast forward of the past 10 days at the Palmer house!! I am going to try harder to bring you our fun (LOL) life at a slower pace from now on!!

I love my life....my family...my friends....and I am happy to share all this with you!!

**Remember..."The News" is coming on or around March 1st!! It's been keeping me motivated lately!


Jenn~

"Tune" in Tuesday.....

OK...so as I'm transitioning into the world of blogging, I find so much I want to blog about, but such little time to blog!! Of course, that is one of the many reasons why I am "Seeking Simplicity" :) I mean, who wouldn't want to be able to spend lots of time updating your blog as well as reading others?? I'll keep working on it and hopefully give updates more than every 10 days!!

For those of you who know me pretty well, you should know I have a love for music!! I love going to concerts now that we have the new BOK Center in Tulsa. I am very versitile in the types of music I listen to, but have recently been "stepping" outside my box to find new stuff and experience music that maybe I wound't have normally given a chance.

I have found that the more trials you go through in life....the greater your love of music becomes, even if it is hard to listen to at times. When Haley was so sick and fighting for her life, each song I heard brought on a new meaning!! Although I love music that is upbeat in tempo....I have found that if you really put the lyrics first, there is much more GREAT music out there than you realize!!! So I thougth it would kind of be fun to share some of my music favorites on "Tune in Tuesdays" and in return, maybe you will leave feedback on some of your favortie artists or songs!! I would love to hear them!!

This week was kind of an easy to pick, because I have recently bought his new CD, Battle Studies, and EVERY SINGLE song on this album ROCKS!!! My Artist of the week is John Mayer!!! He writes his own music, plays one mean guitar and sings effortlessly!! His lyrics will get you "lost in the music" to say the least. He even has a duet with Taylor Swift on this album called Half of my Heart. One reason I chose John's CD this week, is it would be the PERFECT Valentine's Day gift for your "sweetie". Rich and I love listening to his music! Let me know if you decided to try out John's music and let me know what you think!



My next blog will be aobut my girls....Just FYI!!